Gospel of Matthew 24-25 The Best Thing Jesus Ever Said

Matthew 24-25

We start off with some information that must have creeped out the disciples.

24:8 All these are the beginning of sorrows.

24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.

24:10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. I'm guessing some of the guys were thinking of leaving the Jesus camp and joining the Roman army.

More proto-revelations in chapter 24.  I'm finding myself glossing over these parts because I know all the gory details will come out at the end of the Bible.

Chapter 25 gives us a couple more weak parables.  I think Jesus started getting pre-occupied with his impending death/resurrection and started phoning in his teachings.  Would like to see an improv group spoof the 10 virgins.

The parable of the lord, his servants and the talents really bothered me.
The servant that took care of his masters property and didn't risk it is punished.  Those that risked the money that they were entrusted with were rewarded (only because they were successful in making more money).  I know it's a parable for getting into heaven, but this really hits home these days as a horrible message.  I've never heard this used as an excuse to invest money but I can see a Christian right wing candidate like Romney using it.

But, right afterwards we get to what I believe is the best part of the bible.  It's a Humanist message of taking care of each other.  Watching out for our fellow man.  It doesn't need to be about being good to get a reward at the end.

Enjoy;

25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

25:36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

25:37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

25:38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

25:39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

'nuff said

Matthew 20-23 ...a den of thieves.

Matthew 20-23

Chapter 20 starts off with a rather lame parable.
Then, once again Jesus prepares the gang that his time is short.
20:19 is a little suspiciously too detailed for my taste.  I think there may have been just a little embellishment by the scribe. ;-)

20:19 And shall deliver him to the Gentiles to mock, and to scourge, and to crucify him: and the third day he shall rise again.

Is Jesus talking about himself in the third person?  Always a sign of an ego-maniac.

We get an admission of a self fulfilling prophesy.  Jesus knew how to play to Old Testament to his advantage.

21:2 Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.

21:3 And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.

21:4 All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying,

21:5 Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass. Quote of the day from Jesus; 21:13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

This sounds (to this Atheist at least) like what every TV preacher and mega-church does today, selling prayers, trinkets, books, and healing for a 'small donation'.
I would love to see Jesus show up on the 700 Club, recite this passage and then kick Pat Robertson in the balls!

Jesus returns to the temple the next day and again heals and teaches, pissing off the priests.  They want to take Jesus down but fear the massive posse of the LORD.

Jesus himself advocates the separation of church and state!!!

22:17 Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not?

22:18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?

22:19 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny.

22:20 And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription? 22:21 They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's. 22:22 When they had heard these words, they marvelled, and left him, and went their way. This is an awesome line!  Jesus/Matthew could turn a phrase couldn't he? 23:25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

Matthew 17-19 So, anyway...

Matthew 17-19

This is my busy season at work.  Postings will be irregular  for the next month or so.

Turns out John the Baptist is an alias for the prophet Elais.
Scattered amongst more miracles, Jesus tells his friends that he's got enemies and that he's going to get caught and killed.  But fear not, he'll rise from the dead in three days.  Why three days?  If Jesus died on Friday afternoon and rose early sunday morning (at least he was found then, he could have risen Saturday night and hung around until early Sunday), that's barely 36 hours.  But I'm getting ahead of the story, hope I didn't ruin the ending for you.
The answer of course is that the numbers 3, 7 and 40, among others, were important in the 'bible days' so that's what they used.

Jesus infamously advocates for self mutilation;

18:8 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

18:9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. 18:15-18 would seem to be the reasoning the Catholic Church uses for not reporting the sex abuse cases.   I'm only half kidding. 19:6 is the classic line used in every religious wedding I've ever been to; 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Jesus also condemns divorce and has strong words for those who participate.  Seems Moses was wrong. Also seems Newt Gingrich and many other christian right don't feel this teaching of Jesus is very important as divorce in the christian community is only slightly less then the general population.  38-42% vs 50%.

Matthew 13- Farmer Jesus

Matthew 13

I'm sorry I passed this chapter up.  I read several chapters and then broke them up into consumable bites and ended up leaving this one out.

The basic premise of this chapter is that Jesus preferred to speak in parables to illustrate his lessons.
He also seems to like seeds.  Perhaps if he lived inland he would have been a farmer instead of a carpenter/savior.

I/We WILL be cast into flames!!!

13:41 The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity;

13:42 And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I didn't think a fiery hell was actually mentioned in the Bible until Revelations.

So, did Jesus have brothers and sisters or is that how they referred to his friends and followers?

We finish with people in the synagogue (the priests I assume) not being to happy with Jesus teaching these new fangled ideas to the masses.  They still think a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Matthew 9-12

Matthew 9-12

Jesus continues his healing tour and rounds out his apostile line up.

Is there a timeframe that is given anywhere that tells us how long Jesus was wandering around healing people and collecting his entourage?  From the reading so far I get the impression that is was over a very short period of time.

10:32 to 10:38 is the classic 'I don't come in peace, I come with a sword" line that many Atheists like to use against the peaceful Jesus.  Sadly (to some, but not me), within the context of the rest of the chapter, it fits and is not the horrible statement it's made out to be.  It's not nice, more Old Testament like actually.

Jesus gives his men marching orders and lets them know that it's going to be a rough job and some of them aren't going to be coming back.
To paraphrase Jesus, 'Don't fear the men that will destroy your body.  Fear me, the man who will destroy your body AND soul!
I'm guessing some of them are now wishing they had stayed on the boat.  ;-)

John the Baptist, still sitting in prison, sends out his own disciples to check in on Jesus.  I got the impression that maybe John was having second thoughts on Jesus being the messiah.  Did he think that Jesus couldn't possibly be doing all these great things,  or was there some professional jealousy going on?

I find chapter 12 very interesting in that Jesus had earlier stated that men should keep the laws of Moses;

5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven... And yet not working on the sabbath isn't important anymore.  I believe that killing the man for collecting wood on the sabbath was the first judgement that man did in defense of the 10 commandments.  Can someone explain the seeming contradiction?

Matthew 6-8 O ye of little faith

Matthew 6-8
Been under the weather for the last few days and once again this entry wasn't auto-posted.

Jesus continues his lessons.

6:9 gives us the Lords Prayer.  How many thousands of times have I had to recite this in church and at home?  I'm finding it quite fun to see where the Catholic Church gets the content for it's mass!   I also love reading all the phrases and saying that have become so common it todays world.

Jesus rightly tells us to do good deeds without the need for reward.
But, he also gives us this load of poop.

7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

7:8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

We don't get everything we want. Even the most holy don't always get what they pray for.  Do they?*

Chapter 8 is the 'Healing Chapter".  Jesus shows off his variety of powers to cure lepers, the sick, those possessed by demons and even calm rough seas!

We get another example of Jesus saying that we should keep the laws of Moses after he cures a leper;

8:4 And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.

Once again I have to say that I really like the writing from Jesus over the Old Testament.  Other then the more positive attitude, it's also much better written and more engaging.


*Please don't answer this with "God answers every prayer and gives us just what we need."  That's just a cop out.

Gospel of Matthew 1-2 - A New Hope

Matthew 1-2

We start the New Testament (NT) with the Gospel of Matthew.  This book seems to be a 'cliff notes' of the life of Jesus of Nazareth, a Jew born of a virgin mother, baptized by John the Baptist who then considers himself to be the son of the God of Moses.

I have to admit that the book didn't start out well for me.  A long list of begats is no way to draw in the reader.  And the end result is ultimately irrelevant!  So what if Joseph is a decedent of Abraham?  He has no blood ties to Jesus and is fairly unnecessary to the story other then to add a small amount of drama.  We should have gotten MARY'S lineage!

The Holy Ghost impregnates a teenager before her betrothed gets a chance.  Joseph is not happy but plays along.

Once Mary gets pregnant, the story kicks off and it's quite a tale.  Wise men on a quest, a jealous king, a family on the run.  We're off to an exciting start!