Book of Daniel

Daniel 1-12

The book of Daniel is all about dreams and their interpretations.  This post is about as confused as his prophesies.

Daniel and some friends are made slaves of Nebuchadnezzar and have their names changed.
Slave Daniel asks God to save his hide by helping him interput Nebuchadnezzar's bad dream.

Daniel's interpretation is convoluted and a pretty generic answer, sort of like today's psychics.

Even so, the king is so impressed that he worships the jewish god and makes Daniel a ruler;

2:46 Then the king Nebuchadnezzar fell upon his face, and worshipped Daniel, and commanded that they should offer an oblation and sweet odours unto him. 2:47 The king answered unto Daniel, and said, Of a truth it is, that your God is a God of gods, and a Lord of kings, and a revealer of secrets, seeing thou couldest reveal this secret.

But in the next chapter ol' Nebu gets mad because the Jews won't worship his god and idol 

and throws them into a burning, fiery furnace, but they are unscathed!!!  And to top it off, the Son of God is walking around in the furnace with them! 3:25 He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God. What else could the king do but convert to Judaism.  Again. 3:29 Therefore I make a decree, That every people, nation, and language, which speak any thing amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made a dunghill: because there is no other God that can deliver after this sort. But, God causes Nebbie to go nuts and lives like a wild animal in the woods for (a year?  Not really sure on the exact timeframe) before returning to the throne.  You think this would have been mentioned somewhere else other then the Bible but I can't find it. Daniel repeats his dream interpretation act almost to the letter with king Belshazzar and is again rewarded.  But that doesn't stop him from being thrown to the lions by Belshazzar's confederates. 6:10-24 is the story of Daniel in the lions den.  Once again I'm shocked that such a quick story has gained such notoriety, even outside the christian community.  The gruesome end of the guilty parties (and their families) is never mentioned of course.  The dreams and interpretations continue thru-out the book.  Daniel meets several angels. As per Daniels first predication, a string of kings comes and goes.  Nebuchadnezzar even writes a chapter! The second half of the book turns grim and we get some proto revelations.  End of the world stuff. It goes into great detail on the happenings but it's still middle-east centric, which is odd because the world is so much bigger now. When reading it, I got the feeling that the author thought the end times would occur with-in his lifetime, but Daniel is ultimately noncommittal as to when God will put and end to his failed experiment. All we know is that there will be zombies!!!

Book of Ezekiel 29-33 More stuff that didn't happen

Ezekiel 29-33

I know we're not supposed to take these writings literally, but I find it annoying that God/Ezekiel continue to claim credit for the works of others.  Nebuchadrezzar, the king of Babylon will destroy Egypt and spread it's people around, same thing that happened to the people of Judea and Israel.  I'm sure Nebuchadrezzar had no intention of doing this until God put it into his head.  Right.  I don't expect the Bible to talk about the good stuff that he did during his reign but at least give him credit for the warring.

Chapter 29 has Egypt becoming a barren wasteland for 40 years (what was with these people and the numbers 40 and 7?).

29:8 Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will bring a sword upon thee, and cut off man and beast out of thee.

29:9 And the land of Egypt shall be desolate and waste; and they shall know that I am the LORD: because he hath said, The river is mine, and I have made it.

29:10 Behold, therefore I am against thee, and against thy rivers, and I will make the land of Egypt utterly waste and desolate, from the tower of Syene even unto the border of Ethiopia.

29:11 No foot of man shall pass through it, nor foot of beast shall pass through it, neither shall it be inhabited forty years. Didn't seem to have happened.  According to history anyway.  Sort of like the exodus. I also find it VERY funny that "the LORD" has Babylon invade Egypt; 30:25 But I will strengthen the arms of the king of Babylon, and the arms of Pharaoh shall fall down; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall put my sword into the hand of the king of Babylon, and he shall stretch it out upon the land of Egypt. I'm guessing "the LORD" was the last thing on their minds during the war. I don't think there are accounts of Nebuchadrezzar saying "I'm a peaceful man.  Why am I invading Egypt?!?!  Who is making me do this?  The LORD?!?!  :-) Chapters 31-32 are repetitive.  Why am I surprised? In Chapter 33 God tells Ezekiel that the people or "the watchman" will be the ones to blame when God starts killing people if they don't take heed.  God has to kill so he's not responsible.  I believe this is a repeat of an earlier writing.