1 Samuel 28-31

1 Samuel 28-31

Man this is one harsh way to end a book!  I've complained that some of the previous books had weak endings.  1 Samuel makes up for it in spades!

Saul goes to a witch/psychic to talk to the dead Samuel.  Even though this is a parable, it says allot about what the Israelites believed.
A) They believed that people survived in some form after death.
B) They believed that the living could communicate with the dead.
C) The dead could predict the future.

Saul doesn't like what Samuel has to say but his fate is sealed,  along with his sons and the army of Israel in general.

Meanwhile, David isn't allowed to fight the Israelites with the Philistines, lest he become a turncoat during the battle.  To make matters worse, the previously "utterly destroyed" Amalekites have invaded and taken David's wives.  David chases them down and destroys them once again (except for the 400 that escape on camels).

We finish with Saul and his sons being defeated in battle, Saul, not wanting the Philistines to have the honor of taking his life does it himself.  Is this the first literary instance of someone "falling on his sword"?  The Philistines don't treat the dead very well.

Again, I have to comment that this feels very Shakespearian to me.  I think it would be a safe assumption to say that he used the Bible as an influence.  I've also seen pieces that say the Bard helped translate the KJ Bible but there seems to be debate on the amount of involvement.

The sequel starts tomorrow.  David's revenge?

1 Samuel 24-27 LORD lord Lordy

1 Samuel 24-27

Does anyone else have to re-read passages over and over because of the frequent uses of LORD and lord?

Some times I don't know who's command who to do stuff!

Chapter 24 is one of my favorite readings this year.  David and Saul have an impassioned talk about their relationship, with David pleading with Saul to stop his unwarranted aggression.
The golden nugget from this chapter has to be at 24:4 when David's servants remind him that the LORD will one day deliver your enemy to you and you will do what you see fit unto them.  David's action is compassion.  But how did Saul not know that David cut a piece from his robe?!?!
I found this to be one of the best written pieces we've read so far.  How about you?

And Samuel dies.  This is VERY glossed over, almost literally "Oh, by the way, Samuel's dead".  These books are named after him for christ's sake!

We then get a mini-story that seems to be inserted form another author.  In it, David acts more like Saul, being less tolerant and aggressive.
THe interesting part is the strong role of the woman (one of David's future wife and the namesake of our star commenter) Abigail.
It was very much filler, perhaps to put some time between the David/Saul encounters?

Unfortunately, David still doesn't trust Saul, and why should he!  I like the sneaking into a sleeping camp and David having a discussion with Abishai about Saul's fate.  Felt very Shakespearian.

This of course sets up another dialogue betwixt the king and king to be.  Could this be a different version of the previous story?

David then decides that his only chose is to live amongst the Philistines and smote people.

1 Samuel 19-23 David and Jonathan sitting in a tree...

1 Samuel 19-23

David and Jonathan seem to be a couple.  Thought God frowned on the gays.

Saul continues to hate David and David is fearful of Saul.

It doesn't stop either of them from killing scores of Philistines during the chase.

My question is; What is this story trying to tell us?  David is not looking very "kingly" at this point.

1 Samuel 15-18 Davey and Goliath

1 Samuel 15-18

Just for fun

The LORD commands Samuel/Saul to lay waste to the Amalaks
"lay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass."
But Saul once again proves to be a lousy king when he kills all of the humans but only most of the livestock, saving the best for an offering to the LORD. 
Samuel does have a great line here, saying "Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.  Translation;  Be a good soldier and do what you're told.  Faith is better then action?
Samuel (once again) has to tell Saul he can't be king of the Israelites and sends him home to think about what he's done.  Saul of course feels horrible for not killing EVERYTHING and begs forgiveness.  It's not to come.


So now God wants Samuel to "choose" another king.  I found this amusing since God had obviously already chosen David, the youngest son of Jesse.  This is were things get very interesting and soap opera-ish!


Samuel meets with Jesse's six oldest son's but the LORD doesn't care for them.  They send for the young David and lo and behold, he's the one.  Samuel anoints him with oil and he is filled with the spirit of God, which means the spirit of God has departed from Saul, making him cranky.


Someone suggest that music will sooth him (is this where the saying 'music soothes the savage beast' comes from?) so they send for the best harp player in the land.  DAVID!  Saul loves David and asks him to stick around. David agrees.  Jonathan also loves David but that's a different story for a later time.


But, the Philistines come calling.  Their most bad-ass soldier, Goliath demands that the Israelites send out their best to face him in one on one combat.
David, who has since left Saul to feed his sheep, and who is now delivering food to his brothers, hears Goliath's taunts and decides he'll be the one to take the giant.  Laughter ensues.  


David, of course slays Goliath, cuts off his head and brings it back to Saul who doesn't seem to recognize him.  Some have pointed to this as an inconsistency in the story but  I think it's more an illustration that David has grown into his role as the future king and is ready to assume control.
The current king, Saul, is jealous and tries to bring David into the family by offering his daughters up for marriage.  Things will go down hill from there.


Another great parable.  Probably one of the best known to the common man.  How often has this story been retold in different forms?  What other civilizations have a version of this story?
The movie Achilles starts off with a David vs. Goliath moment but I don't know if that is actually in the Iliad or not.
Once again we get a humble man chosen by God and thrust into the leadership role.  Will David do better then Moses and Saul?

1 Samuel 12-14

1 Samuel 12-14

Samuel and God impress the Israelites with thunder and lightning.  They're back in the god business.

Samuel deems Saul unworthy of being king after he made a burnt offering to the LORD instead of rushing into battle.  This bit confuses me a little.  Why is Samuel so displeased?  Saul has not turned from God.

Still, Saul and his son Jonathan raise up an army to smite some more Philistines but seem to be the only ones with weapons.  The Israelites are rightly reluctant to follow and we know that Samuel doesn't seem to like Saul's skills as a commander.

Jonathan isn't to impressed either and goes off on his own.  He immediately shows skill with a sword (I would totally have him in my WOW guild!), and his servant is bad either.

The Israelites drive the Philistines back but God seems to get the credit.  Why is this?  Must be like football where the coach gets the credit for a victory and the player points to the sky and thanks God when HE just scored.

Anyway, Saul commands his people not to eat for the rest of the day after victory (Why?)  Jonathan doesn't here this order and eats honey and is therefore condemned.  The people recognize that Jonathan is a hero and shouldn't be blamed for his tasting of the honey and they save him.  I'm putting my money on God killing him somewhere down the road.

We end chapter 14 with Saul victorious over the Philistines.

1 Samuel 5-7 God's Road Trip

1 Samuel 5-7

The LORD spends a few days with the Phillies but it doesn't go well.
Golden mice and hemorrhoids?!?!  Is there another meaning for this that I'm not getting?

God doesn't really punish the Philistines for kidnapping him (other then the 'roids) but he immediately kills over 50,000 of Israelites when they look into the ark.

Even so, he takes credit for defeating the Philistines and keeping them out for a bit.

1 Samuel 1-4

1 Samuel 1-4

Samuel is born.
Eli's sons are no good.
The Philistines kick the Israeli's collective ass and take the ark of God.  


Shouldn't God have known this would happen?  Or is his real plan about to unfold?  ;-)

Judges 14-16 Samson aka Proto Jesus

Judges 14-16

Much like the opening of the New Testament, an angel of the LORD visits a woman and tells her she will bear a child that shall be a savior.  He'll also be a long haired hippie.
She is impregnated by someone other then her husband.  The husband seems OK with the deal.
The angel gives her some very sound advice; don't drink wine and eat well.

The difference between Jesus and Samson?  Jesus was a fairly peaceful man.  Samson is a short tempered asshole, who first thought murder and mayhem.

Samson starts off as a petulant brat, insisting that his parents get him a (nameless) Philistine woman for a bride instead of an Israelite.
His hormones ragging, he kills a lion with his bear hands!  Later the carcass of the lion is filled with honey which leads to a good meal and a riddle.


"Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness."

Samson's buddies threaten to burn his house down when they can't solve the riddle.  Time to get some new friends!

His wife gives her friends the answer to the riddle, Samson is enraged and kills thirty random men (with the help of the Spirit of the LORD) to pay off his debt.

He kills, kills again, meets Delilah, loses his hair and eyes, kills again and dies.
Moral of the story?  If you want to kill a ton of people, just ask The LORD to help.

I love (actually, I'm horrified) that every few verses of the Samson story deal with him killing and destroying, yet this is considered a "children friendly" Bible story.  With A LOT of glossing over of course.