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The re-retelling of parables and end times predictions.
Once again Jesus sets up the prophesy of his death and resurrection by pissing off the powers that be and getting himself arrested
We learn that Judas was possessed by Satan before he betrayed Jesus and didn't do it willingly.
This feels like a huge cop-out on the part of the storytellers in that it takes the human element out of the story. Jesus wasn't really betrayed by an apostile/friend.
Jesus shares bread and wine with his followers. Two thousand years later, some literalists believe that bread and wine blessed by a priest turns into the body and blood of Jesus. Still, it's not as stupid as believing that if you trust in god hard enough, you won't die from a viper bite...
I need to bring up something that's kind of bugged me for a while. Jesus tells Peter that he will deny knowing Jesus three times. But, Jesus denies himself repeatedly when on trial!
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22:70 Then said they all, Art thou then the Son of God? And he said unto them, Ye say that I am.
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23:3 And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest it.
What did Jesus have to gain by being snarky to these questions and not being upfront about his "Son of God" status? If he said he WAS the messiah, they still would have killed him!
Oh, and what the hell is wrong with Christians who hate the Jews because "They killed our Lord". Did they not read the bible? Are they just really stupid? Both? If the people of Jerusalem (the Jews) didn't call for Jesus' crucifixion, Christians wouldn't have a religion, or, more ironically, they'd be Jews themselves!!!
But I digress. Jesus doesn't defend himself in court and is sentenced to death. He is mocked and beaten on the way so that Catholic churches would have something to hang on the walls (The stations of the cross for those non-Catholics reading this).
Getting nailed to a cross is a heinous act, but I find the part where the soldiers give Jesus vinegar to drink while he's hanging there, dying to be almost as horrid. The Romans were dicks.
Jesus dies and is taked by Joseph of Arimathaea and his maidens.
They must have missed the part when Jesus said you no longer have to observe the sabbath, or did that just pertain to eating corn?
But, all is well that ends well. Jesus comes back from the dead, is reunited with his friends, tells them 'I told you so!' and then rises to heaven. We all live happily ever after until God decides it's time to kill all of us non-believers.
The Skeptics Annotated Bible has several interesting lists of contradictions regarding the crucifixion and resurrection in the right margin. What do you think?
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