Gospel of Luke 21-24 You don't say

Luke 21-24

The re-retelling of parables and end times predictions.

Once again Jesus sets up the prophesy of his death and resurrection by pissing off the powers that be and getting himself arrested

We learn that Judas was possessed by Satan before he betrayed Jesus and didn't do it willingly.
This feels like a  huge cop-out on the part of the storytellers in that it takes the human element out of the story.  Jesus wasn't really betrayed by an apostile/friend.

Jesus shares bread and wine with his followers.  Two thousand years later, some literalists believe that bread and wine blessed by a priest turns into the body and blood of Jesus.  Still, it's not as stupid as believing that if you trust in god hard enough, you won't die from a viper bite...

I need to bring up something that's kind of bugged me for a while.  Jesus tells Peter that he will deny knowing Jesus three times.  But, Jesus denies himself repeatedly when on trial!

22:70 Then said they all, Art thou then the Son of God? And he said unto them, Ye say that I am.

23:3 And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest it. 23:9 Then he (Herod) questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing. What did Jesus have to gain by being snarky to these questions and not being upfront about his "Son of God" status?  If he said he WAS the messiah, they still would have killed him! Oh, and what the hell is wrong with Christians who hate the Jews because "They killed our Lord".  Did they not read the bible?  Are they just really stupid?  Both?  If the people of Jerusalem (the Jews) didn't call for Jesus' crucifixion, Christians wouldn't have a religion, or, more ironically, they'd be Jews themselves!!! But I digress.  Jesus doesn't defend himself in court and is sentenced to death.  He is mocked and beaten on the way so that Catholic churches would have something to hang on the walls (The stations of the cross for those non-Catholics reading this). Getting nailed to a cross is a heinous act, but I find the part where the soldiers give Jesus vinegar to drink while he's hanging there, dying to be almost as horrid.  The Romans were dicks. One of the criminals hanging with Jesus says; 23:41 ... for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. I'm guessing that a dying man nailed to a cross didn't actually say this!   Jesus dies and is taked by Joseph of Arimathaea and his maidens. 23:56 And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day according to the commandment. They must have missed the part when Jesus said you no longer have to observe the sabbath, or did that just pertain to eating corn? But, all is well that ends well.  Jesus comes back from the dead, is reunited with his friends, tells them 'I told you so!' and then rises to heaven.  We all live happily ever after until God decides it's time to kill all of us non-believers. The Skeptics Annotated Bible has several interesting lists of contradictions regarding the crucifixion and resurrection in the right margin.  What do you think?

Gospel of Matthew 26-28 Thy will be done

Matthew 26-28

I'm busy with work but want to get done with this chapter before Jesus shows up again.


The big climax (first version anyway)!

It almost passover and Jesus knows the end is near.  He blames society.  Society made him.

He tells his disciples to eat his body and drink his blood metaphorically (although the metaphor is totally lost on me.  What does this symbolize?).
Catholics seem to take this almost literally for some reason.  I personally find that pretty absurd.
Here's the lawyer speak explanation.

He asks his dad if he can get out of this dying for the sins of others plan.  It doesn't make sense. But God/Father doesn't answer so he's screwed.

While the other followers sleep off the celebration, Judas gives Jesus up for 30 pieces of silver and seals  the LORDS fate with a kiss.  A Judas Kiss.

When the law comes knocking, Jesus' pals go running but that's OK, it's all part of the master plan.  The Jews smack Jesus around before taking him to see the governor.

The priests want Jesus dead for personal/political reasons and Pilate knows this.  He tries to scare the population straight by letting the crowd decide between releasing either Barabbas, a generic bad guy,  or Jesus, destroyer of the status quo.  The crowd picks Barrabas and condemns Jesus to death by crucifixion.

So it is true that the Jews killed Jesus.  But, if they didn't the world wouldn't have all those great churches, and the cast of the Jersey Shore and rappers wouldn't have shiny crucifix bling to wear around their necks.

Do you think Snooki reads the bible?

If the Romans chose to kill Jesus, would we be hating Italians now?

Jesus gets beat up and mocked some more .  Then nailed to a cross.  He dies and is put into a followers tomb, where he supposedly raises from the dead a day and a half later.  Everyone that believes this goes to heaven and lives happily ever after.  The end.

While I can believe that someone named Jesus may have existed and that he may have pissed off the high priests of the temple and gotten himself killed, the whole reasoning falls flat.
Once again I question god's thinking.

Discuss.