Book of Zechariah, ...saith the LORD of hosts

Zechariah 1-14

Damn, one more longish book.  Can you guess what it's about?

I love this line;

1:15 And I am very sore displeased with the heathen that are at ease: for I was but a little displeased, and they helped forward the affliction. Can you believe that there is reference to Santa n the Holy Bible? It's true!  Zechariah prophesied Santa Claus over a thousand years before he came to be.  You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried! 2:6 Ho, ho, come forth, and flee from the land of the north...

And the fact that it comes up in our reading JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS?!?!  There is no way that is a coincidence!



Zechariah eats peyote and writes several more chapters on his visits with angels, God, Joshua, The BRANCH and a flying roll. They all have something profound to say.

Chapter 8 gives us some nice, encouraging words fro God.  He gets sentimental after a few beers;

8:3 Thus saith the LORD; I am returned unto Zion, and will dwell in the midst of Jerusalem: and Jerusalem shall be called a city of truth; and the mountain of the LORD of hosts the holy mountain.
8:4 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; There shall yet old men and old women dwell in the streets of Jerusalem, and every man with his staff in his hand for very age.
8:5 And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof.

This is an odd prophesy.  Anyone know who the ten men are supposed to be?

8:22 Yea, many people and strong nations shall come to seek the LORD of hosts in Jerusalem, and to pray before the LORD.
8:23 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; In those days it shall come to pass, that ten men shall take hold out of all languages of the nations, even shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying, We will go with you: for we have heard that God is with you.

God admits he's punishing the innocent;

10:3 Mine anger was kindled against the shepherds, and I punished the goats

Once again the future is foretold!

14:12 And this shall be the plague wherewith the LORD will smite all the people that have fought against Jerusalem; Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet, and their eyes shall consume away in their holes, and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. The last part of Zechariah is apocalypse, end of the world stuff but it falls pretty flat in my eyes.

Jeremiah 1-3 A prophet unto the nations

Jeremiah 1-3

Isaiah is done but Jeremiah looks to be just as tough to get through.  I'm actually fondly remembering the wholesale slaughter in the Book of Joshua.
The guys sure aren't Elijah/Jesus level prophets.

How do we know Jeremiah is a prophet?  He says he is.
How does HE know he's a prophet?  God told him so.  'nuff said.  After all, no one questions that John Smith was a true prophet.

So, we've proven Jeremiah is a prophet, but we don't get any profit out of the first few chapters in his book.  Just the same old speech about Israelites turning away from God and God being sad.

Jeremiah doesn't mince words.  He doesn't care much for the actions of Israel or Judah.

3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

Even though they are both horrible states, God like Israel better.  He gives them a chance.

3:12 Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever.

Finally, at the end of chapter 3 we get a little light prophecy about reunification, but any dime-store prophet could have prophesied that.

Judges 1-3 Something, Something Something, Dark Side

Judges 1-3

Surprise!!! Judges starts out with the Israelites at war with the Canaanites!
We get a new leading man (pun intended) in Judah.

Fair warning.  My comments are going to be fairly snarky.

Adonibezek tries to run but is caught and has his thumbs and big toes cut off.  More twisted violence from God's chosen people.

1:12 is a retelling of Caleb giving his daughter away as a prize for killing .  The original telling is in Joshua 15.

More instances of God not being able to fulfill his covenant with the Israelites.  Apparently, some people are more powerful then God.  Or maybe he was on vacation when the Israelites went to war.

I'm going to argue semantics here but are they saying COULDN'T drive out or DIDN'T drive out.
Why did they allow these people to stay and live?

Chapter 2 acknowledges that God doesn't like the peaceful cohabitation.

Then things take a turn for the worse.

The next generation (I'm unclear on passage of time) turns away from God, which, of course, pisses him off greatly.  He somehow sells them to the enemy (would love to know how that process went down) but then, "raised up judges, which delivered them out of the hand of those that spoiled them."
Who is this Judge? The Holy Spirit?  It says that the judge dies.  So confused 


Chapter 3 is a repeat of chapter 2.  Can the editing of this book be any worse?


My favorite part about these chapters is that there is so much vagary (40 years pass, Israelites screw up again, 18 years pass) and then we get an ULTRA detailed account of an assassination by a zealot!!!


Ehud, the assassin then leads a raid into Moab that kills thousands of hikers.

Sometimes reading the OT gives me a headache.

Joshua 21-24 I Shall Call This Alter... ED

Joshua 21-24

We reach the end of Joshua.  The book and the man.
This book has a satisfying ending (a sense of completion) unlike most of the previous books we've been thru.  


The Levites get their cities and everyone goes off happy to their own little piece of the Promised Land.
21:43-45 Tells us that the LORD has given the Israelites all the land he swore unto them, but the previous chapters give us several instances were he couldn't drive out the rightful owners of the land(16:10, 17:12).  He shouldn't have over-promised.


But wait!  The children of Reuben, the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh have built an alter in their land on the other side of Jordan.  Surely they must be up to no good!  The rest of the Israelites send an investigative party to find out why.  they're (rightly) afraid that God will punish everyone for the crimes of the few.
Turns out everyone was worried about nothing as the alter is for praising the LORD.


Here's a Hmmmm moment.  God asks the Israelites which of the many gods they will serve.  Him, the pre-flood gods or the god of the Amorites.
He seems to give them a choice here where, before they got to the promised land, he would have destroyed them .  Interesting.
24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.


We end with another recap of God mass killings before Joshua takes his final bows before the people.  


I'm curious.  Apart from the need to change the name, this book seems like it should be part of the Pentateuch.  It's a direct continuation of the story and bookends Exodus nicely.
Is the separation due only to being written AFTER the death of Moses?


Anyway, now that the Israelites are settled into the Promised Land, I'm guessing that the Book of Judges will be much more peaceful.

Joshua 17-20 Where For Art Thou LORD?

Joshua 17-20

I just noticed that the LORD has no input from chapters 12-19.  He is mentioned many times but he is not directly heard from for over eight chapters.
There's nothing to read into this, only an observation.

The remaining tribes seem to resurvey the promised land and redraw the maps.   Am I right about this?

These chapters are pretty boring.  Nothing new is gleaned but I may have glossed over something in my boredom.

We end with restating of the cities of refuge.

One more day of Joshua and then on to Judges, which we'll finish in one week.

Joshua 13-16 And She Lighted Off Her Ass

Joshua 13-16

Joshua is old. There is still much land to conquer.  How much time has passed between chapter 12 and 13?  5 years?

God and Joshua (I tend to first write Moses when I talk about interaction with God.  It's really ingrained in my brain!) discuss the borders of the promised land.

Here is a map of how the land was divided up.

At 14:7 we suddenly go to first person.  Is it Caleb speaking?  Why does he get the center stage all of a sudden?

15:63 As for the Jebusites the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the children of Judah could not drive them out: but the Jebusites dwell with the children of Judah at Jerusalem unto this day.

16:10 And they drave not out the Canaanites that dwelt in Gezer: but the Canaanites dwell among the Ephraimites unto this day, and serve under tribute.

What the heck?  God couldn't drive the Jebusites out of Jerusalem?

Joshua 9-12 Whole Lotta Smoten Goin' On

Joshua 9-12

Joshua and the Israelites continue to kill untold numbers as they continue to occupy the Promised Land.
The only thing that stood out for me in these chapters was that God stopped the Earth's rotation so they Israelites would have enough sunlight to chase down and slaughter the fleeing enemy.  God helps out by killing the majority with giant hailstones.Nice.

Chapter 12 ends with a wrap-up of with a fond remembrance of all the kings they killed.

Joshua 4-8 In The Land of Milk and Honey and Bloodshed

Joshua 4-8

5 chapters today but it's a pretty easy and action filled read.

The Israelites cross Jordan and enter the promised land.  Joshua commemorates the event by preserving twelve stones (4:9), or did he (4:20)?

All young males are circumcised and the older ones re-circumcised (?)  Why did they stop the tradition while wandering in the desert?

The first thing on their agenda after stepping foot on the promised land is to continue the massacre of the inhabitants.  Jericho is first on the list.

The priests practice some psychological warfare against Jericho by blowing horns and marching around the locked up city.  It must have been pretty scary for the inhabitants.  But they didn't live in fear for long because the Israelites brought the walls down and killed every living thing inside except for Rehab the harlot and her family.

But Achan has to go and screw up by coveting.  God's reaction?  Sending a small army to Ai to get it's ass kicked.  This humbles the Israelites.

They make things right by stoning and burning Achan, his family, cattle and possessions.  Sounds reasonable.

The Israelites are then able to attack and destroy Ai (in a very clever move IMO).
The laws of Moses are once again written in stone.

Another happy ending.

Joshua 1-3 Be Strong and of Good Courage

Joshua 1-3

New book and new leading man.  Joshua, son of Nun.  Great name for a sci-fi cowboy comic book!

After the death of Moses, the Lord changes his name to Jehovah and commands Joshua to cross the Jordan.  But first two spies are send out to recon the first city of Jericho.
They immediately go to the home of a prostitute.  At first, this caused me to raise an eyebrow but then I looked at it from perspective of the spies.  They would want to go somewhere where a lot of questions wouldn't be asked.  If you're going to a prostitute's house, people will just assume you've come into town to get your jollies (nudge, nudge).
Of course, their presence is somehow made known to the king almost immediately and Rehab the harlot makes a deal to save the spies in exchange for the sparing of herself and her family when the Israelites march in and kill everyone.

When the spies return, Joshua gives his/God's marching orders and as the priests (or the 12 representatives of the 12 tribes) step into the Jordan, the waters recede.

They're almost there!

Numbers 26-30 God Makes Moses Train His Replacement

Numbers 26-30

Moses really knows how to kill a storyline doesn't he?  The action starts to heat up to a boiling point with God commanding that the Midianites be smoted (feel free to use that word in Scrabble) and Moses decides that we need to go over who's in what tribe and how many there are.  To be fair, God did kill off a shit load of people during the last few chapters so I guess it doesn't hurt to recount.

Does anyone want to volunteer to compare the counts?  We should be able to see which tribe was naughtiest.

In Chapter 27, God grants women property rights but there are conditions.

The good news in this reading is that God tells Moses to go up the mountain and gaze upon the land that the LORD has given his chosen people.  The bad news, Moses is going to die like Aaron because he displeased God.  Oh well.

Joshua is picked as Moses' replacement (I think) and we're subjected to a rehashing of the burnt and non-burnt offerings.

Chapter 30 finishes up by stating that ultimately women's opinions are subject to male approval.