Book of Ezekiel 44-48

Ezekiel 44-48
The last big book of the Old Testament comes to an end.  Thank Jebus!

God shows Ezekiel around the new, improved temple and then says "You'll have to use the servants entrance."

Who's this prince their talking about?

The Levites get demoted from priests to usher.  I'm surprised God let's them participate at all!
God then gives us a rehash of the rules of the game*.  It's good that he's focusing on the important stuff like justice, kindness and helping others in need.  Oh... wait.

God hates wool and sweat!

44:17 And it shall come to pass, that when they enter in at the gates of the inner court, they shall be clothed with linen garments; and no wool shall come upon them, whiles they minister in the gates of the inner court, and within.

44:18 They shall have linen bonnets upon their heads, and shall have linen breeches upon their loins; they shall not gird themselves with any thing that causeth sweat.

Wool is naturally fire retardent so God didn't want to have his priests wearing anything that would protect them if he felt the need to spontaneously combust them for an infraction, ala Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu.

God gives really shitty gifts;

44:28 And it shall be unto them for an inheritance: I am their inheritance: and ye shall give them no possession in Israel: I am their possession. God then parcel out land, gives more measurements and tells us how to kill and prepare his meals. Chapter 47 tells us that there is a leaky pipe in the temple.  The robot with the tape measure is worthless when it comes to repairs. And the exciting conclusion to the Book of Ezekiel?  God redistributes land to the tribes. What a lame way to end a book!  Jeez. *Great movie.  Rent it if you get a chance.

Book of Ezra 6-10

Ezra 6-10

A first person account!!!  I think this is a first for the Bible.  For me, it adds a feel of historical truthiness.

We learn more about the return to Jerusalem.  Ezra reports on a group of men trying to get back to the good old days (of God not killing them) and their efforts to follow the laws of Moses and practices of Aaron.

Strange wives could be a deal breaker so Ezra tells the men to send the unfit wives and children off to (die in the desert?).

This book seems to be written like an actual historical account.  I think it's because God, the LORD has no presence in it except for a people trying to get back on the good side of an absent deity.

What do you think?

Numbers 26-30 God Makes Moses Train His Replacement

Numbers 26-30

Moses really knows how to kill a storyline doesn't he?  The action starts to heat up to a boiling point with God commanding that the Midianites be smoted (feel free to use that word in Scrabble) and Moses decides that we need to go over who's in what tribe and how many there are.  To be fair, God did kill off a shit load of people during the last few chapters so I guess it doesn't hurt to recount.

Does anyone want to volunteer to compare the counts?  We should be able to see which tribe was naughtiest.

In Chapter 27, God grants women property rights but there are conditions.

The good news in this reading is that God tells Moses to go up the mountain and gaze upon the land that the LORD has given his chosen people.  The bad news, Moses is going to die like Aaron because he displeased God.  Oh well.

Joshua is picked as Moses' replacement (I think) and we're subjected to a rehashing of the burnt and non-burnt offerings.

Chapter 30 finishes up by stating that ultimately women's opinions are subject to male approval.

Numbers 20-25

Numbers 20-25

God FINALLY kills Aaron for being a jerk.  Oh, no, wait, God kills Aaron because the Israelites asked for water.

God then kills more Israelites with fiery serpents but then gives Moses the power to cure fiery serpent bites.

The tribe tries passing through several lands but get the metaphorical doors slammed in their faces.  They even gets their butts kicked in a battle.
After promising (again) to stand with the LORD, The Israelites start kicking and taking names.  Moses enacts the scorched earth policy and leaves no living thing in his wake.

Num 21:35

So they smote him, and his sons, and all his people, until there was none left him alive: and they possessed his land.

About time.

I'm curious about this part.  God seems to be talking to the enemy of the Israelites.

Num 22:9

And God came unto Balaam, and said, What men [are] these with thee?

and

Num 22:20

And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up, [and] go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do.

Balaam sees the light and refuses to follow Balek's desire to destroy the Israelites.  My question is how does Moses (the one man who authored these books) know the behind the scenes goings on of his enemies?  I'm guessing we'll be seeing Balaam in the near future.


Chapter 25 shows us that once again, the Israelites can't go one day without screwing up God's commands.  God starts killing thousands (again) before the grandson of Aaron kills a man and woman with his spear.  God likes that "he was zealous for my sake among them".


We end with God commanding Moses to exterminate the Midianites.

Numbers 15-19 Crush, Kill, Destroy and then Wash Up

Numbers 15-19

Chapter 15 shows that God is off his meds again.  Talking about how he likes an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD, then he commands a man to be stoned to death for collecting sticks on the sabbath (was the man even an Israelite?) and then tells his people to put fringe on their garments.
WTH?


He continues the mass murder in 16 before pulling a rabbit out of his hat to appease the Levites


We finish up with some cleaning instructions.


And I thought God was harsh when he went off on the Egyptians.

Numbers 10-14 On The Road Again

Numbers 10-14

The Israelites get a nice horn as a parting gift as they leave Mount Sinai.
But that doesn't stop some of them from complaining and getting smote by God.  Haven't they learned by now?  Seriously!
Why do the Israelites suddenly have no flesh to eat?  Did they kill off all of their flocks with sacrifices?
When God hears their cries, why does it make him angrier?  He provides flesh, and when they eat it he kills them.  This is a very schizophrenic deity.
We also see the sexism in God's judgements when he gives Miriam leprosy and not Aaron.

I have to take the writer to task on this bit though;

14:18 The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.


After two killing sprees, because the people wanted to eat, the last thing I would call God is merciful and forgiving.

Chapter 14 ends with God killing the scouts and telling Moses that the Israelites will wander the desert for 40 years and that nobody over 20 will see the promised land.

Good stuff!

Leviticus 14-15 Leprosy and Menses

Leviticus 14-15

God tells Aaron and Moses how to deal with lepers (Does he say that priests can cure lepers?)
We also so learn how to deal with unclean women.  Seems unfair to separate her from everyone else.  And why does a woman have to offer a sacrifice for having a active reproductive system?

Again, I'm reading these as basic health care rules.  The washing of the skin and clothes and the washing of everything the sick person has come in contact with as well as the scrapping of the stones of a house seem to be a little ahead of its time as far as cleaning.  Were the early Israelites close to discovering germ theory?

Leviticus 9-10 You're Not Doing It Right

Leviticus 9-10

Maybe I'm over tired but this section confused the hell out of me.

Did Aaron's sons get burned to death by God?
Did Aaron screw up and eat a burnt offering in the wrong place?
Did Moses forgive him?

Time for bed.