Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Book of Ezekiel 44-48

Ezekiel 44-48
The last big book of the Old Testament comes to an end.  Thank Jebus!

God shows Ezekiel around the new, improved temple and then says "You'll have to use the servants entrance."

Who's this prince their talking about?

The Levites get demoted from priests to usher.  I'm surprised God let's them participate at all!
God then gives us a rehash of the rules of the game*.  It's good that he's focusing on the important stuff like justice, kindness and helping others in need.  Oh... wait.

God hates wool and sweat!

44:17 And it shall come to pass, that when they enter in at the gates of the inner court, they shall be clothed with linen garments; and no wool shall come upon them, whiles they minister in the gates of the inner court, and within.

44:18 They shall have linen bonnets upon their heads, and shall have linen breeches upon their loins; they shall not gird themselves with any thing that causeth sweat.

Wool is naturally fire retardent so God didn't want to have his priests wearing anything that would protect them if he felt the need to spontaneously combust them for an infraction, ala Aaron's sons, Nadab and Abihu.

God gives really shitty gifts;

44:28 And it shall be unto them for an inheritance: I am their inheritance: and ye shall give them no possession in Israel: I am their possession.

God then parcel out land, gives more measurements and tells us how to kill and prepare his meals.

Chapter 47 tells us that there is a leaky pipe in the temple.  The robot with the tape measure is worthless when it comes to repairs.

And the exciting conclusion to the Book of Ezekiel?  God redistributes land to the tribes. What a lame way to end a book!  Jeez.

*Great movie.  Rent it if you get a chance.

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1 comment:

  1. God doesn't really need all the smiting. He could just make the sinners read these last few chapters and bore them all to death.