Thursday, March 24, 2011

Judges 14-16 Samson aka Proto Jesus

Judges 14-16

Much like the opening of the New Testament, an angel of the LORD visits a woman and tells her she will bear a child that shall be a savior.  He'll also be a long haired hippie.
She is impregnated by someone other then her husband.  The husband seems OK with the deal.
The angel gives her some very sound advice; don't drink wine and eat well.

The difference between Jesus and Samson?  Jesus was a fairly peaceful man.  Samson is a short tempered asshole, who first thought murder and mayhem.

Samson starts off as a petulant brat, insisting that his parents get him a (nameless) Philistine woman for a bride instead of an Israelite.
His hormones ragging, he kills a lion with his bear hands!  Later the carcass of the lion is filled with honey which leads to a good meal and a riddle.

"Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness."

Samson's buddies threaten to burn his house down when they can't solve the riddle.  Time to get some new friends!

His wife gives her friends the answer to the riddle, Samson is enraged and kills thirty random men (with the help of the Spirit of the LORD) to pay off his debt.

He kills, kills again, meets Delilah, loses his hair and eyes, kills again and dies.
Moral of the story?  If you want to kill a ton of people, just ask The LORD to help.

I love (actually, I'm horrified) that every few verses of the Samson story deal with him killing and destroying, yet this is considered a "children friendly" Bible story.  With A LOT of glossing over of course.

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. Well, the Samson story was sorta fun actually, though I'm struck by how dense Samson was. If Philistines keep trying to capture you in the manner YOU JUST TOLD YOUR WIFE - hey .... maybe you shouldn't tell her your real weakness?!

    Is there some inside meaning to the whole 'bees in the lion carcass' story? Cuz that's just weird.

  2. Well it is a riddle (and one illustrated on tins of Lyle's Golden Syrup for the last 125+ years).

  3. @Erp:

    I'd never heard of Lyle's syrup, but sure enough! I googled the image and there's a dead lion surrounded by bees. They must be sure of their product to use that sort of picture. Thanks!

  4. Well I think when it came out in the 1800's people knew their Bible stories. Note by now the tin is so iconic for the product (which is widely used in Britain among other places but hard to find in the US) that people don't really think that often about what it actually depicts.

    BTW it is quite nice as a sweetener though I haven't had it for many years.

  5. Unbelievable stuff. Good for Delilah for persistence. Again and again I am disillusioned by Sunday school. I wonder how he managed to be such a sound sleeper through all this binding and shaving etc.

  6. As someone not raised religiously, "Samson and Delilah" was the only story from Judges that I had heard of, and all I really knew was that Samson was strong, something about his hair maybe, and Delilah was wicked.

    I was really surprised how short and rather silly the story was.

  7. Anyone have anything to say about the foxes in chapter 15? Seems like warfare against agriculture, or a low-tech Agent Orange. And of course the level of economic development of this civilization must be way too primitive that they might have the luxury of dreaming up concepts such as cruelty against animals.

  8. She is impregnated by someone other then her husband. The husband seems OK with the deal.

    What are you talking about?